Iris Rose Harriet James Daffodil Potter
by gameboy17
Summary: A magical catgirl goes to Hogwarts. Somewhat cracky. The only thing I bash is bashing itself (namely, poking fun at the fandom's bad habits). Fem!Harry, Catgirl!Harry, LooseCannon!Harry, BestCopOnTheForce!Harry. May contain traces of YGOTAS.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Iris Rose Harriet James Daffodil Potter was several things. One of those things was a girl. Another would soon be eleven. A third was stuck in a tree.

There were few things Iris liked about herself. One of those was her names – she just had so wonderfully many of them, as if she was named by a whole committee of people who argued endlessly about her name. It made her feel very important. Another was her scar, which I'm sure you've heard about. Another was her hair, which was a dark red-violet. The last, her cat ears and tail, was also the chief cause of the last of the first set of things which she was – namely, her current location halfway up a tree.

Iris had been accosted by Dudley's dog, which he had begged for after seeing how much it hated her. As her instincts demanded, she had promptly ascended to the safe haven of this tree. Unfortunately, her instincts were less forthcoming on how to get down again, and so there she was when an owl landed on her head, reminding her that she hadn't eaten dinner.

Sadly, her meal would have to wait, for the owl escaped death by shoving an envelope in her face.

As Iris read the letter, a catlike grin spread across her face like jam on toast, except instead of toast it was her face.

IRHJDP

Half an hour later, Iris was still stuck in the tree. In this time, however, she had done some thinking, and came to the conclusion that she should try to send a reply. Using the old pencil stub in her pocket, she wrote out a message on the back of the envelope:

 _'_ _Hello. Your school sounds very nice and I'd love to go if I ever manage to get down from this tree. Love, Iris Rose Harriet James Daffodil Potter.'_

She was less certain about how to actually send it. She reasoned, however, that if birds could carry messages, then cats, being much better, could as well. As such, she waited until she saw a cat – there were always a few around, thanks to Mrs. Figg – and dropped the note as close to it as she could manage. _"_ _Could you take that to Hogwarts?"_ she asked.

To her surprise, the cat abruptly turned into a person. "You're a Nyarselmouth?" asked the stern-looking woman in surprise.

"You're a person?" asked Iris in just as much surprise.

IRHJDP

Iris stared at her reflection in a shop window, trying to get her bearings. Conveniently, her scar was nearly a perfect map of Diagon Alley. (Of course, its helpfulness was questionable, since Diagon Alley was pretty much just one street in a sort of zigzag shape.) She had just come from Gringotts (where she had caused several goblins to weep and swear allegiance to her on the spot by remembering their names), and armed with a sack of gold, she was ready to go shopping.

Meandering into the first store that caught her eye… Well, actually, there wasn't a store there that didn't catch her eye. But anyway, Iris went into Oc Trunkman's Ocquipment. The shopkeeper, presumably Oc Trunkman, took a hard look at her and said, "You'll be wanting the Independent Student Starter Pack, then?"

"Probably. I have lots of money to buy things. What is it?" said Iris.

"Oh, you know. An emergency portkey, a wand holster that suppresses the Trace, a self-shrinking trunk with a portal to a fully-furnished manor inside, a disguise kit just in case you don't turn out to be a metamorphmagus, lockpicks, Polyjuice, Veritaserum, a book on how to become an animagus, a book on ancient magic from a country of your choice… You know, the usual."

"I have no idea what half of those things are. I'll take it," said Iris.

IRHJDP

Having spent all of the money she'd just withdrawn on the best possible trunk (she had kept asking about further upgrades until Oc assured her that it was, in fact, the best trunk that could possibly exist within the laws of magic), Iris returned to Gringotts for more money.

"Great Lady Iris Rose Harriet Daffodil Potter, you have returned!" gushed a goblin.

"Hello, Bitecoin. I need to visit my vault again to get some more money."

"You managed to spend all that already? Perhaps you'd prefer to set up a Gringotts Credit Card Bag, then," Bitecoin suggested.

"Nah, I'll just set up my trunk so it can open into my vault," Iris replied.

"I mean no offense, Great Lady Iris Rose Harriet Daffodil Potter, but the security would be…"

"Nah, trust me, my trunk has more than enough security. I could keep a dragon in here and it would be totally safe."

"Well, it's your gold. Oh, and there's a provision to give you early access to the main vault if you demonstrate a need for more gold than the trust vault is intended for. Since I like you, I'd say spending that much within half an hour of leaving here qualifies."

"Sweet."

IRHJDP

Iris had been at Madam Malkin's for several hours, describing her clothing. It took far more time than was really warranted and interrupted the flow of her shopping trip, but clothes were really important. Finally, Madam Malkin got fed up and sold her a pendant which would allow her to change her clothes to whatever overly specific outfit she wanted, accompanied by flashy lighting, gratuitous twirling, and convenient ribbons barely concealing her nude but flashing body. It was activated by saying "Transformicus Maxima".

IRHJDP

Ollivander handed Iris the third-to-last wand in the store, and it suddenly erupted with a loud buzzing sound. "Curious, curious. Nine inches, ash wood – a cutting from Yggdrasil – pink and sparkly, with a dual core of phoenix feather and Kyber crystal. Excellent for love magic. But oh my, how curious that this wand should choose you when its brother, why, its brother gave you that scar…"

"Love magic? That's a thing?" asked Iris.

"That's the part you asked about? Not the cryptic… Whatever. Yes, love magic is a thing. It tends to involve giant lasers."

A catlike grin once again spread across Iris' toast. Er, face. Whatever.

IRHJDP

The rest of Iris' shopping passed relatively quickly despite all the random strangers that kept talking to her. She got a cat that could teleport, which was named Odin, as well as a bunch of school supplies and a bunch of books. She spent the next several weeks studying in her trunk until it was time to head to the station, when she asked Odin to teleport her there.

"Right, so where's Platform Nine and Three-Quarters? …Meh. _Odin, could you be a dear and teleport us to the platform?_ "

She got a few odd looks at this, as passerby heard her request as a bunch of _nya_ s and such. The space where she had previously been got even more odd looks, as passerby obviously saw her suddenly disappear. Of course, all the people running headlong into a wall and passing through it got just as many. September first was always a very busy day for Obliviators.

IRHJDP

Iris was joined in her compartment by Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom. She had been talking to the former when the latter two came in asking about a toad, and Ron was trying to turn his rat yellow. It didn't work.

"I don't think that's a real spell," said Hermione. "It's certainly not in The Standard Book of Spells, Grade One or Grade Two..."

"Yeah, but there are tons of great spells that aren't in there," said Iris.

"Like what? I'm sure they'd include them if they were really important…"

"Like this! _Haato Basuta Cannonnn!_ "

The onlookers' mouths were almost as gaping as the hole in the side of the train.

"Er… How about we find a new compartment? One with plausible deniability?" suggested Ron.

IRHJDP

"I heard Iris Potter was in this compartment," said Draco Malfoy. "Is it true? Are you her?"

"Yep, and I've even got the ears to prove it," said Iris. "Nya."

Malfoy then went off on some tangent about the "right sort" of people or some such. Iris wasn't really listening. She'd written him off when he utterly failed to find her ears adorable. Such a person could hardly be called a person at all, so devoid he must be of positive emotions. He was more like… a fish. A tasty, tasty fish.

Anyway, the point is, Malfoy held out his hand, and Iris tried to eat it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Perks, Sally-Anne!"

"Hufflepuff!"

"Potter, Iris Rose Harriet James Daffodil!"

Iris walked up and put on the hat. "Gryffindor, please."

 _"What am I, a sign-up sheet? Wait for me to have a look first."_

"Nope. Gryffindor. None of the other Houses have a cat as their mascot."

 _"Now see here… Oh never mind. It would have been either that or Slytherin anyway."_

IRHJDP

"I still can't believe you just started eating with your face," moaned Ron.

"Is that nyot how you're supposed to do it?" replied Iris after swallowing the fish she still held in her mouth.

"You're supposed to use a fork. And… it just struck me how utterly _wrong_ it is that I'm correcting anyone on table manners, seeing as how I'm always getting nagged about those."

"There's nyothing wrong with eating with nyour face," protested Iris.

"I dunno mate, it's… Hang on, what was that?"

"Nyah, what nyas what?"

"Why do you keep saying nya?"

"Nyaah, I'm nyot!"

"Yes you are, you just did!"

"NyaaaaaaaaaI don't hear anythingyaaaaaaaaaa..."

IRHJDP

Their first lesson the next day was Potions with the Slytherins. Most of the dungeons was rather chilly, but the Potions classroom was rather warm due to all the fires under the cauldrons, and Iris found herself growing rather drowsy.

"Ah, yes. Our new… celebrity," drawled Snape. "Potter! What would you get if…"

Iris ignored him, already having gone to sleep in Hermione's lap. (There are some things you can't go through together without becoming friends, and being each other's alibi for a big hole in the side of a train is one of them.)

Snape soon recovered and made some snide remark about staying awake, but it was clear to everyone who'd won that battle. A great deal of giggling came from the Gryffindor side of the room, and a great deal of nasty looks came from the Slytherin side.

IRHJDP

"I still think it was incredibly irresponsible," huffed Hermione. "And how are we supposed to win the House Cup after losing five hundred points right from the start? We have _negative points_!"

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione," sighed Iris. "Was I, or was I not, absolutely adorable?"

"Well… Yes, but–"

"And were you or were you not tempted to scratch my ears?"

"I… Maybe a little, but I don't see how that–"

"I rest my case."

"That… That's not how that works!"

"Victory through floofiness!"

IRHJDP

"If I might have a moment of your attention," announced Dumbledore at dinner that night. "It has come to my attention that Gryffindor's point total is somewhat… unusual at the moment." Indeed, Gryffindor's hourglass was currently completely empty, the counter showing negative four hundred and eighty.

"In all my time at Hogwarts, I've not seen any of the point totals go into the negatives. In fact, I'm fairly certain it's not supposed to be possible. So, in the interest of fairness, five hundred points to Gryffindor!"

Suddenly the hourglass was filled with rubies, now showing positive five hundred.

"Ah, that's odd. I suppose they must not be meant to add negative numbers at all, and it started counting from zero again. What an interesting quirk. Well, that's all."

There was silence for a moment, then the Great Hall broke out in clamor as everyone realized Gryffindor was now five hundred points ahead.

IRHJDP

Iris was looking forward to Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration class. After all, anyone who was part cat must be a great professor. When they met before she had been too bewildered to do much more than explain how to get to Diagon Alley (a common reaction), but hopefully she was more composed now.

 _"Nyello, Professor Nyagonagall,"_ Iris mewed to the cat on the desk.

 _"…Indeed. I prefer to surprise the class with this, so if you could…?"_

 _"Nyeah, sure. Say, did nyou see that nyudicrous display nyast week?"_

Iris discussing Quidditch with a cat proved to be highly bemusing to her classmates, who could not understand a word she was saying and had no idea that the cat was, in fact, their professor.

IRHJDP

Iris had mixed feelings about learning to fly. On the one hand, flying sounded pretty awesome. On the other hand… Actually, she couldn't think of anything. Never mind, she was totally stoked for it.

Malfoy was apparently also stoked. If a fish could actually feel stoked, anyway. Actually, it seemed more like he was just angrily ranting about how great at flying his father's money made him. Apart from his side dishes, Crabbe and Goyle, nobody was really listening to him. And he was still nursing his half-eaten hand, plus Gryffindor being ahead five hundred points… Never mind, he was totally pissed off.

Iris wasn't especially worried when Neville fell off his broom. She'd fallen from higher than that before and been fine. As it turned out, though, Neville was not her. Nyouch.

She, however, was her, so she wasn't particularly worried for her safety chasing after Malfoy fifty feet in the air. She'd just latched onto Malfoy's robes with her teeth when he panicked and hurled the Remembrall in the opposite direction. Iris reversed her course, tearing off a chunk of the robe and nearly unseating Malfoy, and sped towards the ball, tracking it by the light glinting off of it like the scales of a jumping fish.

A tasty, tasty fish.

Iris' fishy daydreams were interrupted by the taste of glass and the sound of shouting.

IRHJDP

Malfoy, predictably, was outraged that Iris' love for fish had earned her a spot on Gryffindor's Quidditch team. As such, he had decided to challenge her to a duel. He probably would have questioned that decision if he had seen the hole in the side of the Hogwarts Express, but, well, he hadn't.

"So, the second takes over after you die? So I _am_ allowed to eat you?"

Actually, he was questioning it anyway. "Um… I don't think so. No eating people. It's, uh… dishonorable. And disturbing."

"Eating people aside," interjected Hermione, "Are you _sure_ that's what the second is for? Because that makes absolutely no sense. If one combatant dies, the duel is _over_." As Iris and Ron contemplated this, Malfoy hastily escaped back to his own table.

IRHJDP

Iris had asked Professor Flitwick, who was a former dueling champion, and there was technically nothing in the rules against eating your opponent, so she was quite looking forward to this duel. Her companions weren't quite as enthusiastic.

"He definitely said the trophy room, right? I dunno if he's coming, mate," said Ron. Indeed, there was no sign of Malfoy.

Iris suddenly began sniffing. "It's the fuzz!" Sure enough, Mrs. Norris poked her head into the room, staring accusingly. She was indeed fuzzy.

A brief conversation later, Iris relayed that there was no sign of Malfoy anywhere nearby and that there were definite signs of Filch nearby so they should probably go.

IRHJDP

A few minutes later, their wanderings led them to a locked door.

"I dunno about this, that room smells pretty doggy," warned Iris.

"Just about every room in this castle is dodgy. _Alohomora_." Said Hermione, unlocking the door.

"Not dodgy, dog… Ah. Dog."

Hermione shut the door again.

IRHJDP

At breakfast the next day, a pair of owls dropped a long, broom-shaped package in Iris' general vicinity and fled.

"What do you suppose it is?" wondered Ron.

"It's a broom-shaped package. I just got onto the Quidditch team. You're obsessed with brooms. How did you not immediately assume it was a broom?"

"Did somebody mention my father's money?" said Malfoy, inserting himself into the situation. "Because I don't recall _your_ father having enough money to pay enough bribes to let you have your own broom. Oh wait, he's dead."

"Say, Malfoy," Iris said conversationally. "You challenged me to a duel before, right?"

"Well, yeah, but I– I mean, _you_ didn't show up!"

"Right. Well, anyway, since I assume you postponed it rather than chickening out, now seems as good a time as any to reschedule it for, don't you think?"

"Wha–"

" _Rabu Sainu, Masuta Supaaku!_ "

IRHJDP

Iris scrambled to find herself an alibi for the massive hole in the Great Hall. It didn't really work, since everyone saw her do it. Oh well, Gryffindor was still three hundred points ahead.


	3. Chapter 3: Halloween

Chapter 3

It was Halloween, and in the interest of maximal festivities, the Weasley twins had imported the muggle tradition of handing out far more candy than was probably healthy.

Unfortunately, this meant Iris was currently throwing up in the bathroom. Chocolate isn't very good for cats, and she was no exception. She knew this perfectly well, but they had fish-shaped chocolate, so she ate it anyway.

IRHJDP

"Trololollllllllllllll in the dungeons!" said Professor Quirrel as he burst into the Great Hall. He then collapsed into an exaggerated faint. "Thought you should know…"

As Dumbledore and the Heads of Houses began conducting students back to their common rooms (to the vehement protests of the Slytherins, whose common room was in the dungeon along with the troll), Fred and George Weasley approached Ron and Hermione. "Have you seen Iris?"

"She was still in the bathroom when I last checked up on her," replied Hermione. "Why, is there – oh, no, the troll…"

"Bugger. Well, it's kind of our fault she's sick in the first place…"

"…So we'll go and find her. She's only got nine lives, no sense wasting one on some troll."

"I reckon she could take it," said Ron. "I mean, she launched Malfoy all the way into the lake the other day. He's _still_ in the hospital wing."

"Isn't the hospital wing on the first floor this year?" asked Hermione.

"…Oh, balls, you want us to save him too, don't you? He's a smarmy git! And besides, Madam Pomfrey's there," complained Ron.

"Even if Madam Pomfrey is still there, we should at least let them know," she insisted.

"Look at you, taking charge," commented George(?). "I'd have thought you'd insist on just asking a professor."

" _You're_ with us. I doubt they'd believe a word we said," replied Hermione.

"Right you are. Alright, we'll go get Iris, you two warn Malfoy. And make sure to hold it over his head later!" said Forge, departing for the first floor bathrooms.

IRHJDP

"There's a troll in the dungeons! Thought you should know," said Hermione as she and Ron burst into the hospital wing.

The wall then collapsed in a shower of debris.

Draco later denied screaming like a girl at the twelve-foot troll that came through the hole. Rather, he screamed like a girl at the sight of Iris, who was gnawing on the troll's head.

He didn't actually scream at all, but it came down to his word versus that of the Weasley twins (who, incidentally, burst in after the troll), so the most widely-believed rumor wound up being that he'd nearly wet himself, with the next most popular rumor being that he'd _actually_ wet himself, and the _third_ most popular rumor somehow leaving out the troll entirely and instead being about some sort of illicit love affair.

In any case, the room now contained Malfoy, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, a twelve-foot troll, Iris (gnawing on the troll's head), a large hole in the wall, and a ticked off Madam Pomfrey.

"Out! Out! All of you out!" screeched Madam Pomfrey. "My patients need rest! And trolls bursting through walls is! Not! Restful!"

The troll stared blankly at the wand Madam Pomfrey was jabbing at it before raising its club, as if to say "mine's bigger".

"Ferula!" cast Madam Pomfrey, unamused. "Ferula, ferula, ferula!" The troll's limbs were soon bound by splints, rendering them useless. "Now get out!"

IRHJDP

"So, I'd heard trolls are magic-resistant, right?" Iris told Draco. "So I figured I'd try something aside from lasers. So I bit it. Wish I'd thought of a spell that does something physical, like Madam Pomfrey did, but biting people usually works well enough. Anyway, after that it ran outside, and we ran into Fred and George…"

"Kill me," groaned Draco. They were stuck in the hospital wing together despite the hole in the wall (everyone was starting to get used to those), and, to his dismay, Iris was telling him _all_ about her little adventure.

"Yeah, I guess that's what it decided on, because it went pretty much right here after Fred and George hit it with those fireworks. Didn't even bother taking the proper corridors, just smashed through all the walls. That wasn't too fun, I'm pretty sure that's where the broken ribs came from. Anyway, then it crashed through the wall here, and Madam Pomfrey started shouting–"

"Yes, I know this part. I was there," interrupted Draco.

"Oh, right."

IRHJDP

"Hey, Malfoy."

"…Potter."

"You awake?"

"Obviously. What is it?"

"...Sorry about blasting you into the lake the other day."

"That's…Whatever."

"…Do you think my ears are cute?"

"…Sure, I guess."

"Thanks… Maybe you're nyot a fish."

"…Go back to sleep, Potter."

"Okay… Goodnight."

"…Night."


	4. Chapter 4: Quidditch, Conspiracy, & Xmas

Chapter 4: Quidditch, Conspiracies, Clothes, and Christmas

Iris was still fairly new to flying, but she felt fairly confident in her progress nonetheless. However, in the overwhelming majority of her experiences with brooms, they did not shake violently in random directions, and as such she was fairly certain that was not supposed to happen.

Indeed, this opinion was shared among everyone else present. Nobody seemed quite sure of what exactly was happening, but the consensus seemed to be that whatever was happening was definitely not supposed to.

Everyone seemed rather concerned about the situation. Iris wasn't overly worried. After all, cats have excellent balance. The bucking motion would complicate catching the Snitch, though, so when she noticed it hovering around down and a bit right, she jumped off the broom.

Everyone seemed very distressed by this. Apparently that wasn't usually supposed to happen either.

Iris discovered that they still hadn't listened to her request to make the Snitch taste a bit nicer.

She landed safely on her feet just in time to see Snape catch on fire.

IRHJDP

"Wait, so you think he was trying to kill me?" asked Iris incredulously.

"Wot? No way, why wou' Professor Snape want ter do that for?" asked Hagrid even more incredulously.

"He was staring right at you and muttering! What else could he have been doing?" insisted Hermione.

"I dunno, muttering angrily? Besides, why would he want to kill me? Sure, I sleep in his class all the time, but that's hardly punishable by _death_."

"He's a greasy git, that's why," argued Ron. "You haven't seen it as much 'cause you always sleep through his classes, but he's got it out for you. The other day he took off points from Hermione for petting you!"

"He _what_?! That's… That's an obstruction of skinship! An affront to the concept of floofiness! A violation of our very rights! That… That _fish!_ No, he's even less than a fish because _nyat least a fish is tasty!_ "

"What, you think Malfoy's tasty?" interjected Ron.

"He nyactually bathes, at least," countered Iris. "Unlike that greasy, hugblocking, bloody… Dog! When I get my hands on him, I'll feed him to that other dog!"

"Er… Wot, Fang? 'E'd never eat anyone!" (Regardless of who Fang would or would not eat, Iris had insisted he not be present before she would set foot in Hagrid's cottage.)

"Nyo, that big three-headed one. In that room with the trapdoor. Actually, maybe there's something even worse I could feed him to past there, I'll have to check…"

"'Ang on, 'ow'd you know about Fluffy? And don't you worry 'bout that trapdoor, tha's between Professor Dumbledore an' Nicholas Flamel!"

IRHJDP

"You really should try to stay awake more, you know," Hermione lectured. "Even aside from sleeping in class in general being incredibly irresponsible, now we know he's trying to kill you! Sleeping in the same room as someone who wants you dead is like… It's a bad idea!"

"How'm I supposed to stay awake in there, though?" complained Iris. "It's way too hot, and these thick robes just make it even hotter."

"And that makes it impossible to stay awake?"

"Nyes. I'm a cat. I nyap."

"Well, what about finding some cooler clothes, at least?"

"Oh! I can do that. Transformicus Maxima!"

"That is without a doubt the worst incantation I've ever – oh my."

Iris' clothes now resembled a mixture of Hogwarts robes and a sailor fuku. Parts of it were padded with dragon hide, while other parts were made from acromantula silk, Veela hair, and strategically placed sections made from thestral hair or demiguise hair.

A few moments ago, when Hermione made her exclamation, they had resembled a few strategically positioned ribbons, hence her reaction. They were, fortunately, in the girls dorm, so the damage was minimal.

"Er… Alright then. That definitely looks… cooler. Why is it made of…?"

"Oh, Oc Trunkman recommended these materials. Said they were very popular with independent students. He also mentioned nyasilisk hide, but I don't think Peke – I mean, my pendant – can make that."

"…Alright then. You should probably change into that _before_ class, by the way. The, uh, view is a bit… much. Well, it's _still_ a bit much, really, but…"

IRHJDP

"Well now, isn't this a surprise," drawled Snape. "It seems Miss Potter has finally decided to join us in the land of the living. We shall have to wait and see if makes any difference in the quality… or lack thereof… of her work."

Iris didn't respond, electing instead to continue staring silently and murderously.

"…Well. So far, I can't say I notice any difference. Perhaps we should… assess… whether you've managed to pick up anything at all through sheer osmosis. Tell me, where would you look if you needed to find a bezoar?"

"Bees or what?" Iris replied. "Never mind, I can get those. Apis!"

Suddenly, the room was full of bees.

"Potter! I'll– a hundred points from Gryffindor! No, make that– AUGH! AAAH, NOT THE BEES!"

IRHJDP

"You're sure you're alright staying for the holidays, Ron?" asked Hermione.

"One of us has to. Can you imagine what we'd come back to if we let Iris stay here unsupervised?"

"Well, she wouldn't be totally unsupervised. Most of the professors will still be here. Probably wouldn't stop her from wrecking the castle, though."

"Did someone mention wrecking the castle?" entered Fred.

"Because if Iris needs a supervisor, we happen to be professionals," said George.

"Professional supervisors or professional castle-wreckers?" deadpanned Hermione.

"Mostly the latter," admitted George. "But we do know a spell to give someone super vision, if that counts."

IRHJDP

On Christmas day, Iris awoke to find a large pile of presents at the foot of her bed. Somehow she hadn't expected this, despite her surge of popularity after unleashing bees on Snape.

From the Dursleys, she received a bowl and a can of cat food. It was the best present she'd ever gotten from them.

Hermione sent her a book on fishing. The attached note quoted the old adage about giving a man a fish versus teaching a man to fish. She also included some notes on Summoning Charms, because realistically their schedules didn't really leave enough time to go fishing the muggle way.

Hagrid's gift was a crudely carved wooden electric guitar. Iris wasn't quite sure how that worked.

Ron's mum sent her a sweater much like the ones Ron, the twins, and Percy got. Hers was purple and had a big 'I' on the front. Ron advised her to go ahead and wear it, since Gred and Forge would make her anyway.

From an anonymous benefactor, she received her father's invisibility cloak. Ron was suitably impressed. Iris sniffed the package. Ah, so it was from Dumbledore.

From various, she received a large array of fish, sweets, fish-shaped sweets, sweet-flavored fish, Swedish Fish, and trading cards.

One last present surprised her, as it was from Draco Malfoy. Iris was fairly certain that he still rather disliked her (turns out surviving a troll together instilled a sort of grudging respect, but did not automatically make them like each other), so she was somewhat skeptical, even after asking Professor McGonagall to check it for curses. Finally, she opened it to find… a collar. A nonmagical gag gift, then. Alright. She could roll with that.

IRHJDP

Christmas dinner was a rather festive affair. Everyone got holiday-themed random loot bags, or crackers. Iris opened several, finding several live white mice (which she ate), a chess set, a 'grow-your-own-warts' kit, a pack of highly-explodable luminous balloons, and a silly hat (a sort of green mob cap thing). In fact, almost everyone got a silly hat. There were so many silly hats, Iris felt like she was at a Touhou convention.

It was almost a shame to disrupt the festivities, but it was winding down anyway, and it had to be done. Iris meowed into her communication mirror (a set was included in her Independent Student Starter Pack, and she and Odin were now both wearing them as tags on their collars), and Odin teleported onto the head table with a package for Snape.

The package contained bees. Snape was very upset.


End file.
